Ami Desai, Beauty Influencer | Los Angeles, California
The following is a conversation between Monika Samtani, co-founder of The Fem Word, and Ami Desai, Beauty Influencer.
Monika Samtani:
Hi everyone. I'm Monika Samtani and this is The Fem Word. I'm super excited to welcome Ami Desai to the show today. She's a beauty and lifestyle expert. Thank you so much for joining me today Ami.
Ami Desai:
Thank you so much for having me.
Monika:
You are also a modern mom influencer, and inform women just like yourself on how to juggle it all. Talk about juggling it all right now! Not only is there a pandemic where we're all stuck at home, but you also have a baby on the way.
Ami:
Yeah, it's interesting. I don't always like to use the word juggle or I guess juggling is the proper word versus saying habit. But I appreciate that you said that because I feel like, especially on social media, we kind of give this perception that everything is perfect in these curated little boxes and stories. There are so many messages I get with people saying, how are you doing this now? Are you able to do everything you're doing? And it's like, I'm giving you the bits and pieces, I'm not sharing with you the parts that are very frustrating but sometimes I do. It is having that extra layer of being pregnant during this whole time that is very interesting. It's obviously something I don't think we'll ever forget. It's one of those things where I'm trying to look at everything with a positive note because I am so grateful and so lucky that I am able to stay home.
Monika:
One of the things that was really important to you when you were building your career was representation. You’ve said that growing up as a first generation Indian-American, it was really hard in the 1980s to find people on TV that you could relate to. I really connect with you for personal reasons because that parallels my life here in DC in the 1980s when I was starting out as a news reporter - with no doors to knock on and no one that looked like me.
Ami:
Yeah, being an eighties baby growing up, for me, like in the early two thousands when I was starting to get out into the work field, it was really interesting because now obviously when you hear other girls saying like "oh I don't see representation" I'm like, gosh, well at least you see one or two people because growing up I saw no one.
Monika:
When I look around now, I'm like, at least there is some color out there - not enough - but some. I can tell you it looked a lot different than it does now. It's all about perspective.
Ami:
Yeah, perspective and I'm sure for you it was the same. I mean for me it was very much like, okay, that's great. You represent minority or diversity, but we're going to box you in, something else like very ethnically ambiguous. For me, I'm on the West coast, so [I was asked] can you speak Spanish? I realized that even though I was considered a minority and it would be to my advantage - like oh look, there's no one that looks like me and I'm adding this to your roster. It was almost like, okay, but now we're not only going to group you as being a minority, but you're in the box of being a Latina, Asian and whatever it is that we can put you in. That was to my disadvantage because then I was competing against so many other women who really I shouldn't have been and it wasn't fair. Because I do feel like we deserve our own category.
Monika:
So you have worked with CNN, you've worked with E! and Hollywood.com. I'd love to hear more about your journey. What is it that really motivated you to pursue a media career and then pivot to what you're doing now?
Ami:
So for me, I knew I always loved storytelling. That was one of my biggest things that I love doing. Actually, what's funny is that when I was in high school I was asked, where do you see yourself in five years? I was very interested in fashion, beauty, makeup, that was my primary thing. And my dad was like, this is okay, this is cute, but what's the real thing that you want to be in five years? And I was like, no dad, this is it. And I remember it was shot down - and this is 1999. So I ended up going to school, studied communications, but I was like, I'm not going to be a lawyer or a doctor or an engineer, like everyone in my family... I'm going to pursue something along the lines or the parameters of the industry that I want to be in. But also do it while I'm satisfying my parents' aspirations for me. So, I did that, I went to Berkeley and then I ended up getting an internship at E!, which was amazing because that just opened a ton of doors. Doing that in the early two thousands was awesome. I got to meet so many people and network and be a part of so many great shows and red carpets and things like that. So I really enjoyed it, but I also enjoyed the storytelling. When I say that I mean more like the Datelines and 60 Minutes, the long story format pieces.
I decided to go to grad school where I did broadcast journalism and I loved it. That's when I worked with CNN and I realized at the same time that I love telling these really long stories, so that's when I realized I can tell stories - but I can do it in a very lighthearted way, which then led me to like entertainment news. Inside Edition is where I landed and I loved it, although sometimes they get a bad rap. They are one of the most veteran shows out there that's been around since the early eighties and still one of the top - I think next to Oprah - is one of the top syndicated shows in the country. It's just learning from really good people, you know? They have really great investigative pieces so producing for a show like that was huge. I decided to produce versus go on camera because at the time I was 24 and I was already in a very serious relationship with my now husband. He was going back to Los Angeles and being behind the scenes [there] would allow me to garner that skillset and then I could hopefully one day parlay it into the next phase of my career. So learning how to tell a story through a lens, not only that, but writing scripts, you know, all of that stuff.
So this was like in 2006 and everything was transitioning and at that time it was a huge deal having hair and makeup on set constantly because you could see everything that much clearer and everything was becoming 4D. I also got married that year in 2007. I remember when I got married I was very confused as to why, like I myself knew hair and makeup very well, but I didn't know why it was so hard for other people to understand me, especially my skin tone. It's very similar to a lot of other skin tones I see. So it really frustrated me that I [had flown] to India to get all my clothes and [we were] spending all this money, but I wasn't happy with hair and makeup [here] and that just really just confused me. It was like one person that did hair and makeup and this is obviously before social media had really hit, I think Facebook was just at the brink of getting big as like a promotion tool. But there was no Instagram. It was barely there.
So I started doing hair and makeup and that was a business I had on the side. It was primarily for South Asian weddings because to me it made sense cause these were the girls that needed the help. It was like there were no set rules and at that time people still felt you had to be fit in a box. If you're doing Indian bridal, it has to be very heavy and it has to be very like bold lips. It has to be a certain way. That's not true. I didn't do that. And I made sure that I was going outside of the box. So I started doing that, loved it so much, and then left the entertainment industry to focus on my business for hair and makeup, which was great. Then I got called back into entertainment with hosting and producing a travel show, which was really exciting. It was a luxury travel show in India, which I got to go do for eight weeks and I got to host as well. It was a very grassroots production, which was great because I had to figure out how to do everything.
Then when I got back, I got pregnant and had my first baby. At that time somebody else who I'd met along the lines was like, “Hey, you know, I work at OWN, which is the Oprah Winfrey Network, and we're producing and starting our own website, like our own show.” This was obviously at the time when digital started becoming really big. So this was around 2012 and so they're like, you know, digital is taking over TV, so we're going to try this out and it's like a news magazine show for 30 minutes a day. Are you interested? So I went, the audition process was over a year. So I had not only had my first child, I had already gotten pregnant again with a second and it was great. I did that for about three years and met some amazing people.
I think the biggest thing of how I got where I am today is basically in 2016 when all of that was coming to an end, I was continuously trying to interview for other on-air jobs and I realized that TV wasn't the same. I think people were moving more and more towards digital. Instagram was obviously there and I think what happened was that people were starting to become personalities on their own, you know? So it was like creating your own thing. This was also right before the moms space kind of became popular, and at the time I was a mom of two very young kids, two under two. I was pitching all these ideas like why don't we do things on how you can be a working mom while doing beauty. I wanted to parallel it with beauty because I really enjoyed all of that and people loved the idea.
So at that point I was like, okay, I'm going to start taking this seriously. So in 2017 I basically started creating YouTube videos and I started doing beauty tutorials, people always ask how do you get started? And that's exactly it. I just took brands that I was interested in and that I really saw myself aligned with. I would purchase products from them and I would create content around it, but with my voice. Instead of it being like, this is a great foundation, it was like, why is this a great foundation? It's great because it one, fits my skin color, which I feel like sometimes it's harder and more difficult for a certain segment of women to find; and two, I'm of a certain age, I'm not 22 anymore. It was like speaking to a certain demographic, which I thought was great, especially because being a mother, I feel like a lot of times people are looking for things that are going to help with bags under their eyes, sleepless nights, things like this, hormonal changes. It was like, okay well these are things I can speak to because I've been through all of them. I think at this time too, we're seeing a lot of content go back to basics, but at this time in 2015 to 2020 you saw so much of that very dramatic like over the top cut crease and all this stuff. For me it was very much like approachable beauty. Like here's a foundation that's going to do the job and you can use it on the go. You know? So I call these things like ‘car makeup’ or ‘five minutes or less’ or how do you really get ready with a toddler? Things like that, which made it unique to my voice.
Ami Desai
..”if you look, especially now, it pays to be very different, that's what people want to see. It's the women that are very different that have a certain aspect about them that makes them very unique”.
One of the biggest pieces of advice that I got from someone was - imagine what your elevator pitch is if you're giving that on Instagram, and it's really just using that. Almost like your tagline, and using that as the basis for every piece of content you create. If your thing is going to be everyday beauty, make sure you tie that into every piece of content that you're doing because it's what's going to keep your particular demographic coming back for more.
Monika:
For me the idea of beauty has really changed, especially since I was growing up and then creating my career as one of the first South Asians on TV in Washington, DC. More and more, women are calling the shots when it comes to free expression and redefining what it means to be beautiful. So how does that fit into the message that you put out to women as a public figure to feel powerful and beautiful in your own skin?
Ami:
I think that's exactly just it, which is embracing what you have and what you were given and using that and being proud of that. Like you were saying, you were one of the first South Asians in your space and me not having many women to look up to in what I was doing, it was almost like, are we allowed to do this? But now hopefully when you see women like me or you or anybody else, it gives younger generations the hope that this is okay, I can do this and you know what? I don't have to fit into this box and I don't have to abide by certain guidelines with what I want to do when I grow up. As far as it pertains to beauty, if you look, especially now, it pays to be very different, that's what people want to see. It's the women that are very different that have a certain aspect about them that makes them very unique. That also is creating all the buzz around them and is allowing them a larger platform to speak on. To me it's like take what you may think is a cork or that you think is almost an insecurity, take that and run with it because you have no idea where that might be able to take you. I'm sure there's thousands of other women that are insecure or can relate to that.
Monika:
What are some exciting things that you're looking forward to now with your brand and your platform?
Ami:
..”now hopefully when you see women like me or you or anybody else, it gives younger generations the hope that this is okay, I can do this and you know what? I don't have to fit into this box and I don't have to abide by certain guidelines with what I want to do when I grow up”.
I'm not sure. I feel like I'm very fortunate in the sense that I incorporate a lot of what you see is what you get. It's pretty much my life. So right now it's very much about being a new mother in my late thirties. I'm incorporating a ton of content around that. Working with a lot more brands that are baby focused or mother focused and it's just about creating that niche that works for me or that messaging, which is like, oh, I'm a mom and I had a baby when I was 30 and now I'm 38 and I'm having a baby. So there's a lot more I can talk about and different angles I can talk about and relate to the women who are starting to have children a little later in life. I definitely don't see myself doing this particular thing where I'm sitting in front of the camera and talking a lot or doing makeup on myself and all that kind of stuff in the next five, six years. I would love to be running my own brand as far as like a product or something. We'll see. There's a lot that I have hopes and dreams about but it's more so putting them into fruition because right now for me, as much as my career is important, my family is I think taking precedence over everything at the moment. Which is great, it's exactly what I was referring to in the beginning that there is no such thing as juggling it all, but the balance is there and so sometimes there's going to be aspects of my career that take precedence. There are going to be times where family takes precedence and this has one of those phases in life where family is probably 75%. So I have to give and take a little and put a few things on the back burner. Luckily now more than ever, we're seeing women do things later in life. That obviously gives me so much hope and I love it because before I used to feel like, oh, okay, I'm turning 25, I have to be exactly where I want to be. But now I think, what are you talking about? I can be 50 and starting to have my second calling in life.
Monika:
So when I came across your platform what I saw was someone that was real, almost in a sense a reflection of what a daily life should be like - but also empowering me to feel like, hey look, it doesn't take a lot to feel beautiful, feel empowered. So at The Fem Word, we really like to dig a little deeper about your journey. Can you describe a moment in your life when you felt powerful?
Ami:
Honestly right now I feel really powerful because I am trying to be teacher, wise mother and also carry a third child during a pandemic. It's one of those things where I feel so blessed that everyone wants me, you know? It's like the kids want me, my husband needs me to be able to function and work from home. I get to create my hours for work as long as I get the content out, I get to create hours. But I feel really powerful because I feel like I'm almost that 1950s woman who kind of has to have breakfast, lunch, dinner, laundry and dishes done. But then I also have to make sure work stuff is done too and at the end of the day when I'm able to accomplish things off my to do list, which granted doesn't happen a lot because of the current circumstances where everyone's under one roof 24/7. It makes me feel really good. Like, gosh, you know what? I was able to score that deal, finish that content, finish that campaign, and have dinner on the table. It feels amazing and it feels really powerful.
Monika:
We are capable of a lot as women.
Ami:
Yes, I agree.
Monika:
It's such a positive message to put out there. We can't wait to hear all about the baby and see how your life evolves because like I said, to see someone so real on social media who's got a platform like yours is really what attracted us to you and we're really happy to talk with you. Thank you.
Ami:
Thank you and thank you for having me.