Michelle P. Cooper, Partner & Director of Women, Wealth & Wellness, XML Financial Group

If someone came up to you right now and asked you about your finances, how specific could you get? For most women, the answer is: not very.

A significant portion of women go through their daily lives without knowing how much they own in both cash and other assets, how much they owe across the board, how their accounts and funds are titled, or how prepared they are for unforeseen circumstances.

Michelle P. Cooper is a Partner & Director of Women, Wealth & Wellness at XML Financial Group. She is a professional estate planner, personal finance expert, speaker on women’s financial health, and knows all about unforeseen circumstances. The experience of unexpectedly losing her husband at age 36 - when she was juggling a busy career and the birth of her twin children - left an indelible mark on the way she views women’s finances and the impact a lack of financial preparation can have, both physically and mentally.

The Fem Word sat down with Mrs. Cooper to discuss the topic of women’s financial health, and her insights are more timely than ever as we continue to struggle with the economic effects of the covid pandemic.

This is a subject that has been on many women’s minds, according to numerous cross-demographic studies done by institutions such as Pew Research Group, Kiplinger, and the TIAA Institute. But wanting to improve one’s financial health and actually taking action to make that happen are two very different things, as it turns out.

“During this time, I’ve been reading a lot of studies and articles - you know, we’ve had a lot of time on our hands,” Mrs. Cooper jokes. “What I’ve seen is that there are a lot of women going, ‘you know, I need to prioritize this,’ but where they’re falling short is that, for whatever reason - and there are many [reasons] - they are not taking action to have the conversation with themselves or their partner or their spouse, and so it’s [just] not getting done.”

It’s this failure to prioritize financial health that Michelle views as the starting point for women’s long-term struggles and knowledge-gaps when it comes to their overall understanding of the subject. Making financial health a true priority is the proverbial ‘first step’ in preventing unnecessary stress, loss, and strife down the road, and it’s also the first step Mrs. Cooper takes with her clients when they come to her for financial advice.

“The main thing that I am trying to impart to everyone - not just women, but let’s just focus on the fact that women aren’t as on top as they need to be - is that all of us have to prioritize our financial health,” she emphasizes. “If we don’t, we’re not going to find the minutes, the hours in the day to do it. [Not] unless we put it at the top of our to-do lists.”

Prioritization in action may be as simple as - and pardon the pun - simply sitting down to take stock of one’s current financial understanding and education. This is an exercise in honesty and it can look quite different for each of us.

“For some, [it] might be something fresh,” Michelle says, “[while] for others they might have a basic understanding, or a pretty in-depth understanding, but they can [still] dig deeper.” From there, women need to exercise real initiative in gathering the information and resources they need to improve their relative situation.

“life happens, and it’s going to happen again and again. [...] We all go through things, and when we do, we want to be prepared.”

~ Michelle P. Cooper

“After we learn, the most important thing is that we have to take action,” Mrs. Cooper emphasizes. What does action look like for each of us? Regardless of your age, marital status, or specific goals, the next step is to set aside a few hours and do an accounting, so to speak, of each and every ‘piece of the puzzle’ included in your own financial picture.

The easiest way to do this is to simply make a list. Keep in mind, this simplicity doesn’t necessarily mean the process is easy. When discussing recent trends in online or app-based investing, Michelle notes that the statistics often hide a widespread ‘skipping’ of the information-gathering step in people’s financial health journeys.

It’s not about simply listing ways to make money, she says. Rather, “it’s taking a few steps back and figuring out ‘what do I owe?’ What are my assets? How are they titled? What kind of access to money do I have?’ [And] figuring out after that, ‘what do I owe? What are my student loans? What are my mortgage debts? My car loans? Any other loans I have outstanding?’”

Only after these numerous pieces of the puzzle are gathered into one list can we start to look more deeply at our finances and the values, dreams, and security they represent.

It’s about making that list in its entirety, “and then figuring out goals, because those goals determine what people are doing on Robin Hood or other, hopefully low-cost investment platforms,” Michelle elaborates. This foundational knowledge is often so basic that many women don’t even realize they’re lacking it. The items on such lists are seen as conceptual, often being written off as financial realities that are ‘just there,’ running on autopilot.

Such blind-eye behavior is often exacerbated by the sheer busyness of women. Michelle herself was no exception to this no-time-for-basics trap in her first marriage, and this was a factor in the way her stress and uncertainty played out after the loss of her husband.

“When it came to the day-to-day, nitty gritty of paying bills, investments - my husband loved doing that. And I was so darn busy that I said ‘honey, have at it!’” she recounts. “And so [when he passed] I had to figure out if we were going to be financially okay - but I had the [major] pieces in place, the building blocks that allowed us to survive that. Many women don’t. Many women have never [even] looked at their finances, have never thought about what [to do] if something happens to [their] partner.”

By handing over the day-to-day financial chores, women place themselves at an often-subtle disadvantage when the unexpected occurs. Luckily for Michelle, her experience in the finance field allowed her to have some preparation for that universal unexpected - but as she pointed out, a large percentage of women would find themselves completely blindsided by a situation like the one she faced.

“I’m fortunate, and that’s one of the reasons I speak so passionately,” she says, “and [it’s] why I’m here talking to you today. I want other women to know, it can happen to anybody and you want to make sure you have your Plan B.”

That Plan B often takes the form of what Michelle calls a ‘financial roadmap.’ This roadmap is “just like you would plan if you were going to the beach or on a trip - [how you’d plan] to drive there. What stops are you going to make? What exits are you going to take? How long are you going to take to get there?” she explains. “We have to [make a] trail so we can eventually meet the goal. And that goal is going to determine what we buy, how much risk we take, what our asset allocation is in terms of owning equities or fixed income. That is what I’m telling women to do.”

And of all the people who need a financial roadmap the most, it’s women who stand out in the starkest ways - especially as they grapple with the long-lasting impact of the covid pandemic.

Michelle speaks with CBS This Morning’s Reena Ninan about her book ‘I’ve Still Got Me’

“In terms of the wealth gap, which is really what has been created because of covid - women left the workforce, didn’t put money into their retirement plans, maybe backed off on the amount put in their taxable account for investments,” she cautions. “[And] that does create a gap in terms of future earnings. And so even more [than anyone else], women need to be on top of their financial health...because that money that they have saved needs to work harder for them in order to be there or support them when they retire. It’s really more important than ever to dig into this aspect of our lives.”

This wealth gap is a deeper and more lasting hurdle than simple pay gaps, as wealth is the money that “works for us” over the course of our lives. If women do not have this kind of foundational security, the resulting losses could be profound not only for them but also for their children, their families, and their communities as a whole.

Financial health is more than having money in the bank, after all. It’s about knowing with certainty that, no matter what, you can handle the dips and changes in circumstance that are bound to occur as we go about the business of living.

As Michelle so aptly put it, “life happens, and it’s going to happen again and again. [...] We all go through things, and when we do, we want to be prepared.”

Thanks to her experiences and insight, more and more women will be prepared - and that’s a future we should all be happy to bank on.

THE FEM WORD PARTNERS: Akytech Consulting

The Fem Word partners make it possible to inspire progress through the transformative power of conversation and connection. Join us as we work to amplify the voices of women and girls together…one story at a time.

The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this article belong solely to the author, and do not necessarily reflect the position of The Fem Word organization. Any content provided by our authors are based on their opinions and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.

A Conversation With Michelle P. Cooper: When ‘Life Happens,’ It Pays to Be Prepared (Literally)