Samantha Feher, Influencer & Editorial Assistant, Cosmopolitan Magazine | NYC
PHOTO CREDIT: Sam Feher
Monika Samtani and Avery DeLacey in conversation with Sam Feher, Cosmopolitan Magazine | August 2020
Every week we get the opportunity to speak with someone who is changing the world and blazing her own path. It’s pretty cool for us to learn from these women and share their incredible stories on our platform. If you don’t already, please follow us on social. I’m joined by our contributor Avery Delacey, and we are so excited to speak with Sam Feher, a great friend to The Fem Word. She’s s superstar on Instagram, a small business owner, and an editorial assistant at none other than Cosmopolitan Magazine where she began working straight out of college in 2018. Oh - and Sam makes a super cool announcement right here on our show.
Monika Samtani
Through your journey I've seen you grow from college, coming over to our home and telling us about your dreams. Take us back to the time when you were in college and you were already thinking about doing all of this. I mean, you were living in this bubble in college, but you were thinking outside the bubble.
Sam Feher
I totally was living outside the bubble. I think when I was looking at colleges, one thing that really appealed to me about Elon was that campus feel, the sororities, the community of all living together on this one block, basically. And I applied to a bunch of New York city schools too, knowing that I would spend the rest of my life in that city. I think I realized at the moment that I had four years to get that campus experience and to really be a part of that kind of environment and that kind of community.
I really didn't want to pass that up. So I totally embraced it for like two years. I was really in it doing the thing. And then, I went to study abroad my junior fall and it was amazing. I saw 11 countries and 29 cities in four and a half months. I can't sit still, even when I'm, you know, in a different city, of course. Totally my nature. Like I'm a Gemini, right? And so, I really took advantage of that time in my life and I feel like I really used it to its full potential.
So when I got home to Elon and there were only 5,000 other people in a 10 mile radius of me, I was going stir crazy right away. I felt very suffocated and it's not because Elon is not fantastic. You know, I feel like I had the best professors, the best access to the best resources and the best friends. And it was so much fun. But, I think I had always had a sense that there was more out there than that.
I want to have that room for growth in front of me. And I really feel stifled and suffocated when I don't have that anymore. So, my friends joke that I didn't even go to Elon my junior year because every weekend for the rest of that school year, I was away. I went to Miami, I went to New York, I went to fashion week. Like I did all of these things and it was, you know, partially because it was for my career, but it was also partially because there was so much life out there that I wanted to go grab. So that's kind of where it all began. And I think where I figured out that New York really was it for me. And where I learned about the big, bad world that's out there that I needed to go and find.
Avery DeLacey
So college is really where your platform kind of like took off. What was the feedback that you had from your platform and everything that you do?
Sam
That was interesting because I didn't plan it or do it on purpose really. It was kind of an accident. And some people didn't think it was cool or didn't think it was work or didn't think it was a job or legit or any of the above. And people were like, 'oh, look, she has Instagram followers. She probably thinks she's hot shit now.' And it was always for me, like, I have all these things happening. I mean, my spirit has always been entrepreneurial, so anything that comes my way, I take it and I try to turn it into a business. So it became very clear to me early on that that's what this was. It was a business opportunity. And for me it was never about like someone recognizing me or like someone thinking I'm cool because I had a blue check mark.
It was very much for me like, okay, well, if people value my opinion, I'm going to continue to give it to them. And at that time when the influencer industry was such a small, but growing space, we had no idea it was going to be a billion dollar plus industry in 2020. And now no one's making fun of me for my Instagram followers, unless they're making fun of me for not having enough. So, it is kind of funny to look back on that time.
“You guys are the first to hear this. I haven’t told anyone yet, but I’m considering going back to school for my MBA. It’s very preliminary. I don’t know if it’s even going to happen. I was just accepted into a pre MBA course at Harvard.”
It's never been my primary thing. It's always kind of been something that exists on the side of the rest of my life, but I think it's opened a lot of doors for me. It has taught me a lot of things. It has made me a really independent business person. You guys are the first to hear this. I haven't told anyone yet, but I'm considering going back to school for my MBA. It's very preliminary. Like, I don't know if it's even going to happen. I was just accepted into a pre MBA course at Harvard. So I'm going to take that and see. It's very new. You're literally the first people besides my boyfriend and my mom. So that's an exclusive scoop.
All of the other things I do are amazing, but it's starting to become kind of a very self reflective process where I'm like, maybe this is the beginning of my journey as a business person. And I think Instagram is kind of where that all began. I was from day one, negotiating my own contracts, developing content strategy and marketing strategy and all of these things that most 19 year olds are not doing for themselves or doing at all.
Monika
So you’re listening to your inner voice, believing in yourself and your journey. And today it's all paid off. I mean, content is everything. People are looking for positivity. People are looking for ways to connect. So you stuck to it. That's one lesson, right? Second lesson: Believe in yourself. We’ve all been dealing with COVID-19 for like six months. How have you seen your platform pivot or grow in a different direction or change according to the times?
Sam
I think that's such a smart question and one that people haven't been asking. A lot of people think that it's not changing because for influencers, we're still doing our jobs. Like I can do my job from my bedroom. So I don't need to go to an office. But it has been an interesting shift for a lot of influencers. I think right now there's this immense pressure to perform. And there always has been for influencers, but the type of performance is different. Before it was like, ‘Oh, I'm going to the coolest parties. I'm wearing the coolest clothes and doing the coolest things.I'm on the sick vacation.’
Now the pressure to perform is to use your platform for good. It's really exposing people who weren't doing that before. And I think you know, authenticity is the new cool, it's the new black, it's the new chic. And this new kind of spotlight on everyone's lives. Now that we can't see each other in person, people are sharing more than ever on the internet. So, there's this level of vulnerability and realness that you have to give your audience, because that is the only way that they can have human connection right now in a real capacity. What I want to do during a time like this, when so many people are feeling starved for that deep friendship and really authentic human interaction, I'm taking what I have and I'm tripling down on it. I'm not trying to spread myself thinner. I'm not trying to reach hundreds of thousands of more people. I'm trying to make the most profound impact I can on the people I'm reaching. I think the bigger the platform gets, the more responsibility you have and the more work it is just to maintain. And I think at the size I'm at right now, I have a pretty unique opportunity to build real relationships with my followers. I mean, I have people who have followed me for like eight years. Like that's crazy to me that that's even a thing.
“..authenticity is the new cool, it’s the new black, it’s the new chic. And this new kind of spotlight on everyone’s lives. Now that we can’t see each other in person, people are sharing more than ever on the internet. So, there’s this level of vulnerability and realness that you have to give your audience, because that is the only way that they can have human connection right now in a real capacity. ”
I have people dm’ing me sometimes where they’re like, ‘I've literally followed you since you were a senior in high school.’ That's wild to me that feels like lifetimes ago, but those are people who also messaged me like ‘I just went through a bad breakup. I know you have been through a couple of those, and I know you’re in a healthy relationship now because of what you're posting, do you have any tips for getting over that hump?’ And I'm like, these people literally talk to me like I'm their mom, their friend, their therapist. And most of them I've never met. I don't even live in their state. So it really has been a growing experience. I feel this level of responsibility that I never used to in a certain way. And I feel like more than ever I’m just grateful for these people who care what I'm doing all the time and value my opinion, and want to hear from me, because I think sometimes this dilemma that influencers face is that you feel like you're screaming into the void.
Monika
That's called loyalty. Right? Because there's lots of other choices that they have to follow anyone they want to, and if they're sticking with you for this long, there is a loyalty, there is a connection and a friendship that they feel, and that's really important.
Avery
What would you say to younger girls or people my age, in college, that have goals like yours, like crazy big goals that just seem so unattainable to someone like me right now. What advice would you give them?
Sam Feher with Bachelorette star Tyler Cameron
Sam
It seems unattainable until it's yours. And even after that, sometimes it's still unattainable. For me, it's always about reflection and gratitude and recognizing like all of the hard shit you've done to get where you are right now. I think when I was in college, all I was focused on was the job and the life that I was going to have after college.
And that's why I was away every weekend. I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything, but I think it feels like such a rat race in high school and college to get the best grades, to get into the best school in the first place, then to get the cool internships, to get the cool job, to have the cool resume, to make a lot of money. I think a lot of people forget to be proud of themselves and reflect on all the cool stuff they've done and all the hard stuff they've done and how, that's what got you to this moment.
The Cosmo job wouldn't be mine if there wasn't a job listing when I was graduating, right. It's part of why I graduated early to give myself this extra six months of padding in case a listing went up, but you only have so much control over that. And so if you don't work at Cosmo your first year out of college, it doesn't mean you're not good enough for Cosmo, because I think it's really easy to put this job, this dream job on a pedestal, and then the timing doesn't work out or something insignificant that’s not about you messes it up. And then what? Are you going to be devastated? It's over? Like, you can't put everything into that. I said to my mom, the day I submitted my application, I literally get choked up when I say this, I have been waiting for this moment and preparing for this moment for 20 years. Like, what if I have the opportunity and what if I mess it up? What if I don't get it? And she said, the smartest thing anyone's ever said to me, which is, you left nothing on the table. You put it all out there, you put everything into it. You did every single thing you could to get this. So you can't have any regrets if you don't get it. It's not something you didn't do.
Monika
This is The Fem Word, I'm Monika Samtani along with our contributor, Avery DeLacey. We’re talking with Sam Feher, Instagram superstar. I love saying that, and editorial assistant at Cosmopolitan. So one thing Sam that I can really relate to is the sacrifice that goes into doing what you're doing, because I was in media during the traditional days of TV, radio, print, which shifted to digital media in the last five to seven years of my career on television. But I totally get what you're saying because for 25 years, I got up at two in the morning to go to work. It's just, it's a crazy lifestyle. And all people see in the public eye is you on TV looking really nice, and not what goes on behind the scenes to make it all happen. And I respect how far you've come and how long it's taken, but you kept at it, which is what we talked about earlier.
You were talking about Cosmopolitan. What is it like working for such an iconic magazine? I mean, it was founded more than 130 years ago, it’s aimed at females, and here you are young and right out of college getting that job and building your own platform. What is that like for you?
Sam
So it's hard to believe. Like that's my job and my life that I get to live, and do crazy things that no 23 year old I know has done. I could not be more grateful to the universe for letting it all work out, to my boss Jess, and my parents and all my friends who supported me along the way. It feels like a total dream still every single day. When you're at Cosmo, you are in a room with the smartest people in the industry, period. You are just in a room with the most brilliant minds, the most forward thinking creatives, the most eloquent writers, the most creative reporters. It is this extreme level of talent, of innovation, of success.
It’s never the same two days in a row or two minutes in a row. And that is part of what makes it so dynamic and so fresh all the time. You are turning things around in minutes. And that is like that constant adrenaline rush.
Monika
When you wake up in the morning, whether it's for your own platform or for Cosmo, what drives you?
Sam
There's a common thread between all of the things I do. It really comes down to that thing I said before, which is building relationships. Right? All of my jobs are about storytelling. It's about building communities and sharing something that a bunch of people can relate to. And whatever it is, find peace in, find motivation in themselves, that kind of thing.
Monika
You've got people who look to you for inspiration. But now, especially with COVID, and black lives matter, and now with the election coming up - we're talking about political, cultural issues, quarantine. Do you ever want to use your platform for those world events or is it one thing that you feel like you're best at? And that's what you're going to stick to?
Sam Feher, Cosmopolitan Magazine
Sam
It has always been important to me, especially now to use my platform to share my experiences and the things I learn as I navigate all this craziness that is life. It has always been no matter what it is whether I'm trying a new skincare product or whether I'm registering to vote, I'm bringing them along with me because it's all part of my journey. And something that I think Cosmo has been really great about and does really well and has been really impactful in the way they operate is it used to be that you're an influencer, so you do fashion and beauty, like period, full stop, that's it. But like, why can't we be multi-dimensional, why can't I care about fashion and beauty and exercising my right to vote? Why can't I post about black lives matter because that's something that's important to me, in addition to whatever I'm wearing today. it has lately, especially, been important to me because I think a lot of my followers are me just, a couple of years behind me. When I was in college, I wasn't nearly as educated about this kind of stuff as I am now. So if I can help be one of the ways they learn about this kind of stuff, why not?
But now these kids are figuring it out because influencers are doing it or they're learning on the internet or whatever. And especially lately it has been really important to me to try to use my voice and to expose the people I have access to And a lot of them are like me. They're a bunch of white college girls at private universities and that's fantastic and I'm happy for all of them in their journeys, but as someone who was there not too long ago, I know exactly how isolated and protected you are from all of the things that are happening in the real world. And I also know that if someone was in my ear all the time, educating me about like racial injustice I would have wanted to learn about that kind of stuff and expose myself to the rest of the world and just learn from that.
And I think it's so easy when you're in college to ignore all of that, because it doesn't really affect you. But it is more important now than ever to be involved and engaged in that kind of stuff. And in politics like we ran some polling over at Cosmo about voting and just kind of understanding voting from the perspective of a Gen Z or millennial woman. And it's shocking how many people just don't vote. And that's dangerous.
Avery
So you do all of these different things. You have all these different platforms. What does time management look like for you?
Sam
My mom, again, coming in clutch with good advice. I think one day I was in school and I was overwhelmed with my to do list and my homework and all this stuff that I had to do all at once. And she said, okay, so write out a to-do list. I was like, I've already done that. I do that every day. She goes, okay, now look at the first thing and start doing it. And I was like, you're right. I used to spend all of this time being like, I'm so busy and thinking about how I'm gonna, do it all and fit it all in and worrying about it. And nothing is going to make your list shorter except doing the things you have to do. So when I'm really feeling overwhelmed and my to do list is eight pages long, which it absolutely is right now, the most productive way for me to accomplish that and to move on to task, number two is to finish task number one. The other thing for me is that I am very lucky that,I care so deeply about all of my different jobs and about all of my different audiences and teammates and the work itself. That is really motivating in and of itself. When you really care about what you're doing. So it is kind of like once you lock into that motivation, that thing you care about, it's not hard to get through your to-do list because every single new thing you tackle, you're like, cool, I get to do this now.
I just worked on a project with Cosmo where I led a couple of members from our different teams, our fashion team, our e-com team, our design team. We designed facemasks and we partnered with a design manufacturer in New York. We sold out and sent out a bunch of disposable ones for donation. Now we're selling these protective face masks. I get to go to work every day and do that. We're also donating to this organization that mobilizes to protect vulnerable communities in times of crisis. That kind of stuff is important to me and it's stuff I care about. So like, yeah, my to do list is 18 pages long, but I'm stoked to get through it.
Avery
Is it hard separating everything though?
Sam
Part of the beauty of my jobs and also part of the struggle of my jobs is that they are all kind of similar and they all overlap a little bit. So yes, lines get blurred all the time, and sometimes it's hard to separate it and, what's even harder is separating like my heart and my brain. And sometimes I'm so emotionally invested in all of the work I do that, my perfectionist brain needs to shut off sometimes, or sometimes my super devoted heart that is sunk into this project needs to take a chill pill. So I can step back and look at something objectively. And that's something that has always been hard for me because I get so invested in something.
One of the fantastic things about my jobs overlapping is that I can use the skills I've learned in every single one of them to make myself better at the other ones. one thing we do at Cosmo is we work with a lot of brands to create content for them. And so, they need talent to participate in this content creation for them. So we literally have shoots where they need influencers to like participate in things. And they have me on staff, so they don't need to go out and headhunt someone who is natural in front of the camera and knows how to pitch a brand to their followers on Instagram, because they have me to do that. And so, that is one of the cases where it's really cool that my jobs overlap because, I get to do two things I love at the same time and, make both my businesses stronger. It's like a two birds, one stone situation. So,, there's something messy about all the blurred lines, but there's also something beautiful in all that.
Avery
Do you have any new projects coming up or anything new that you want to tell us about?
Sam
Well, maybe going back to school for my MBA is really the big scoop in my life right now. I'm not gonna lie...it's something I didn't even consider until a couple weeks ago and being the kind of person I am, of course the instant I thought of it, I spent 48 hours straight just digging into it and learning everything I could. I have two info sessions this week, like who do I think I am, I thought of this two weeks ago, but it's very preliminary, it's very new when something feels like an opportunity to me, similarly to the Instagram thing, I just want to sink my teeth into it. And I just want to be a part of it and see what kind of opportunities it might open up for me and where it might lead me down the career path or in my life or whatever it is. So, that's kind of the new thing for me. There's a lot going on at Cosmo right now, but we are just focusing on, getting the best, the highest level of content out there we can with all of the dumpster fire of 2020 happening at the same time, there are a lot of layers of things that we need to report on. And we have really high standards in terms of quality, but also volume of content. So we are all working triple time to get this stuff out there and make sure that it's the best and most impactful that it can be.
I think the only other big new thing in my life is that I'm really trying to do a lot of self reflection during quarantine. And it has been a great opportunity to do that. I'm staring at the inside of four blank, white walls every day. I'm learning a lot about how much of myself I pour into what is deemed traditionally work and how much of myself I pour back into myself. I pour so much of this into my work and to all my different things, and those are things I care about, but, um, it's really important to reinvest a lot of that energy back into yourself too. And that's something that I haven't ever prioritized before, because I was always so goal oriented and right now at this point in my life, I'm 23 years old and I have so many of the things I wanted even a year ago. I've achieved all these goals that I wanted to achieve. And I'm so excited about that. And quarantine has presented me with a very unique opportunity to slow down for a second. And, in my free time I'd normally be work hard, play hard, but right now it's work hard. And then, focus on achieving inner peace.
Monika
Two of the takeaways I'm getting from you right now, Sam, is one allow yourself that opportunity to realize your potential, right? Some of us fear that, ‘Oh my God, what if it doesn't work? And I'll fail?’ Well, that's kind of what I'm learning from you is that's not part of the equation. If you fail, you pick yourself up and you do it again, you do it differently. The second takeaway for me, from everything you just said was to breathe, to allow yourself that introspection and that time to just decompress.
Sam
Totally. It's new for me, but I'm figuring it out slowly. And someone who's really good at all of those things is my boyfriend. He's been instrumental in this whole growing thing that I'm in right now. His big thing is if you're not winning, you're learning. And so failure is not even in his vocabulary. And to me, everything was like, I either achieved the goal or I fail, right? Like I'm a goal oriented person. If I don't get the job, I failed. If I don't get the grade, I failed. If I don't make that deadline, I failed. And he's like, no, you didn't, you either learned something about what you're doing, or you learned something about yourself. And he was like, that's just as valuable as doing it right. So, you know, I always say like, jokingly, like I do the hard stuff so that my followers don't have to, I'm trying to go to business school. So then my followers don't have to, I can tell them things I learned right here. If failure's not in your vocabulary, you don't have to experience it. Just pick yourself up and learn. Right. You learn something, it'll make it better next time. If you don't learn something from it, then you just failed. And the real failure is not learning something from it.
Avery
What does success look like to you?
Sam Feher with actress Lili Reinhart
Sam
For a long time it looked like checking boxes. It looked a lot like a dream job, like a great apartment in the city, all optics, I thought that if I had all of those things, it would feel like success. But I think, what really feels like success to me is the person I'm becoming as I achieve those things. It's not because I have a job at Cosmo that I feel special and smart and accomplished it's because the things I learned from the journey, getting to Cosmo have been instrumental in my growth as a person, a friend, a girlfriend, a daughter, an employee, an everything, there were a lot of profound growing moments in that journey.
And then, you know, once you get there and you continue to kind of work through it and evolve and set new goals, new targets, new dreams all of it changes you as a person, as you go along. and I'm not the same person I was when I graduated., I'm not the same person I was before I studied abroad. All of these things have turned me into someone who I'm proud of. And that to me is success. If you can spend all this time with yourself in quarantine and look in the mirror and be proud of the things you've accomplished and, be comfortable sitting with yourself and knowing yourself, and learning about yourself and diving into these parts of you that you previously left untouched.I think that's success. I think that's real self actualization and it's not tied to a salary or a title or the cool pictures of you on your fancy New York city rooftop.
It's tied to those moments when you're alone in your apartment on a rainy Sunday and there's literally nothing to do and no one to talk to. And you're cool with being silent with yourself for a couple of minutes, and that feels comfortable to you.
Monika
For all of the people that follow us, that follow you. I feel like you've just scratched the surface of all you can accomplish in your life. It's just the beginning for you. So you've already had very powerful moments in your life. For all the women, girls, anyone out there that's listening to you right now. Describe what it means to you to be powerful.
Sam
I think a lot of people mistake loudness for power, or like outgoingness or flashiness or bragging or whatever it isa lot of people feel like when you say to them that you have power, that you're a powerful person. I think something that I've been learning recently is that the true power who focus on them and who crush it and kill it. But don't go around bragging about it and talking about it all the time. I think saying you're powerful is such a blanket, like a security blanket. Like you're afraid to be really you, that you have to go out there and talk about your title or your salary or all the success you've had. And I think it's that kind of, quiet peace inside you, when you feel like you have accomplished the things and you have done the things and you did the right thing, you made the right choices, and you're proud of what you've got going. And you quietly grow and you quietly evolve and you become that person of your dreams.
Those are the most powerful people, the quiet ones. it always is that way. And I think quiet comes in a lot of different forms. You know, it doesn't mean you're not constantly like on TV or on the internet talking to followers, or doing interviews or making a magazine or being in a magazine. All of those things, that's not Unquiet. It's about what you do when you have that space, that time in people's lives, what you do with it. and I think that's really, really important. And I think that's what makes me feel powerful, letting everyone else talk about all the cool shit they do and sitting back and being proud of my cool shit.
If you want to see some of the cool shit that Sam is doing - you can find her @samanthafeher on Instagram. And you can find us on social @thefemword.