by Brooke Galonek

I’ve always loved birthdays. I’m the type of person to plan my future and to always think about what’s next. While I know I can’t really pass as one of those ~chill girls~, the future has always been something that excites me. Each birthday has brought the potential for new opportunities and an exciting future. Turning 13 meant I was finally leaving my pre-teen years for full teenage life. Turning 16 meant I could drive to meet my friends at the movies, and that I never had to take the bus again. Turning 18 meant becoming an adult (eh three years later…still trying to be a kid) and heading off to college 684 miles from home. Now, turning 21? Cheers to that.

Turning 21 has made me reflect a lot. It’s the first year that has made me feel old and more mature. It partially makes me feel like joining the trendy internet saying, “mom, pick me up I’m scared.” It also excites me that I truly am entering my adult years. As I reflect on 21 years thus far, here are 21 things I have learned at 21.

1. Sometimes you have to let go.

I am REALLY bad at this…like really bad. I am the queen of overthinking. With that said, I’ve learned that there are some things you really have to just let go of in life. Lots of things are out of our control, and that’s okay.

2. Say YES often.

The other night I was lying in bed, air pods in, Netflix on the screen, when my “friends in Copenhagen” group chat lit up. My friends and I love to cook weekly dinners together. Part of me just wanted to stay in my warm bed, rather than face the cold Danish outdoors. But, I said “yes” and made myself go. I ended up laughing for hours with some of my best friends and found a new soup recipe that I will for sure be making again.

3. Know when to say NO.

A counterpoint to number two, sometimes you really just have to say no. I am the type of person that always wants to please everyone, but sometimes you need a break and a night in alone. It is important to know when you are taking on too much, and when you need to take a second for yourself.

4. Clean the dishes right away.

Messy kitchen sink equals a messy life. This semester while studying abroad was the first time I was completely on my own for food (college meal plan and dining hall…I actually missed you). Cleaning up right after I am done eating has become an ingrained habit, it always feels me feeling a little more put together.

5. It’s okay to skip the gym.

There have been way too many times where I have had a long tiring day, but still made myself go to the gym in fear of not making it five days a week. While it is great to stick to a fitness routine, it is important to not force a work out if it is not what your body wants or needs at that moment. I have learned to listen to my body, and I try to always remind myself that missing one workout is not going to stop progress already made.

6. CALL MOM.

I might call too much…if I am being honest. I saw a tweet that said “Calls mom when I am happy. Calls mom when I am stressed. Calls mom when I am excited. Calls mom when I am sad. Calls moms to call mom.” That sums up my life pretty well. A good talk with my mom or dad ALWAYS makes me feel better.

7. Lift other women up.

You know when you’re in the women’s bathroom and someone tells you they like your shirt or your hair? IT’S A GOOD FEELING. Let’s do more of that.

8. Move a little each day.

As I said earlier, it is okay to skip the gym, but try to move a little each day. Even if you just go for a 20-minute walk, dance around your room, or get your yoga on with downward dog, getting your body moving will make you feel good and will improve your day.

9. Get sleep.

Life is busy, and sometimes sleep is not a priority. I have learned that when I neglect prioritizing my sleep, my health as a whole suffers.

10. Appreciate the holidays you get to spend at home.

This past Thanksgiving was my first holiday with no family. I always knew going abroad meant that I would not be home for Thanksgiving, but I did not realize how unsettling it would feel on the day. I felt lonely, but luckily was able to FaceTime my family when they all got together.

11. Live to work, don’t work to live.

This is an idea I explored in my Leadership Across Cultures class while studying abroad. In Danish society, people place high value on “living to work”. As I go through college and begin my young career, happiness at work is one of my top priorities. Life is too short to not love what you do.

12. Eat the cheesecake.

I LOVE cheesecake and I also love living a healthy lifestyle…but the one I love more starts with cheese and rhymes with lake. Over the past few years I really have learned the importance of balancing my food. I believe in intuitive eating and listening to what my body needs and wants to fuel myself.

13. Write that sh*t down.

I am known for being way too overly involved and committed. I love being busy and it is what motivates me each day. However, I do get overwhelmed at times, just like everyone else. Writing down my tasks for the day helps me stay organized and on track with everything I need to achieve. Also, nothing feels better than checking all of the boxes off of a list.

14. Just don’t be late.

This may be more of a pet peeve than something I've learned…but I am always early. Even if I try to be exactly on-time, or even late (if im feeling like a rebel), I still am early. It never hurts to be early.

15. Mental health is IMPORTANT.

Whether it’s your mental health, a friend, a teacher, whoever, make mental health a priority. Check in on yourself and others.

16. We all need Netflix sometimes.

Whether alone or with friends, sitting down and bingeing a good show or movie can always fix my mood after a long day.

17. Be persistent with what you want.

No matter how discouraged you are, do not give up. Last year, I applied to what felt like a million internships before hearing back from one. IT WILL WORK OUT. Have faith and keep pushing.

18. Keep making new friends.

Before going abroad, I had five girls in my sorority that I was friends with but had never really taken the time to get to know. Four months later, these girls are some of my best friends.

19. Learn how to cook.

In the past year, I have been adventuring with cooking and I love it. After working at a Thai restaurant for four years and loving green curry, I found a recipe online and made some for myself. It is my new go-to meal. At first, I was afraid to try new recipes. Now, I find it fun and relaxing.

20. Being uncomfortable is how you grow.

Going to college out-of-state, living in Denmark for four months, and making friends can all be uncomfortable. However, these experiences are where I have learned more about myself and more about who I want to be.

21. Keep learning.

With three semesters left of college and a whole career ahead of me, I am excited to see what I learn next.

21 Candles: A Lesson I've Learned For Each Year