Real Talk: Beauty Standards in College

By Laura Hennawi and Saisha Kapoor

The Fem Word contributors Laura Hennawi and Saisha Kapoor are both rising juniors in college. When they transitioned from high school to college, they both experienced a tangible change in the beauty standards placed on them. They were curious to see if their peers felt the same way about topics like: beauty culture, conforming, reclaiming, over-sexualization, guilt, and validation - plus girls’ confidence at college. So, they got together with Emma Siu, a friend of Laura’s from Loyola University in Maryland, and Layan Ibrahim, a childhood friend of Saisha’s and a student at Radford University, and the result was a “Real Talk about Beauty Standards in College.”

social media influencers set beauty standards

Social Media influencers set beauty standards.

Social media holds a tremendous influence over beauty standards. On one hand, social media and “influencer culture” provide people with platforms that facilitate connections across the world. On the other, the reinforcement of beauty standards in influencer culture is overwhelming, especially when it comes to body image and fashion. These aspects of the beauty standard may be difficult to manage because social media is a daily part of our lives. It presents a constant reminder of the dominant western beauty ideals that ultimately conquer our media and tethers young girls’ views of themselves and their worth to their appearance. But how do these standards change between the transition from high school to college? Check out the video for the full conversation.

immediate differences between high school and college

emma siu

Loyola University Maryland, 2024

College is worlds apart from high school. The way that you might’ve known your fellow students in high school – recalling certain faces and last names even if you weren’t necessarily friends – won’t be recreated in college. There are simply too many students, and they’re all so different. These are people who might be at entirely different life stages from you. Perhaps you’re a bright-eyed eighteen-year-old, in some ways still a child, and you sit down for a class next to a real adult. They might be 22, they might be 55. In high school, there isn’t this sense of exposure. High schoolers are in a box together; the same people are crammed together in the same building all day. Perhaps because of this, high schoolers desperately want to be liked by other high schoolers. They try their best to fit in, from the way they talk to the things they do. Most of all, however, high schoolers seek to conform through the way they look. As a girl, you might want to wear what’s trendy...and you want others to notice. Being a teenage girl is an angst-filled, tumultuous time. You want to be seen and validated by your peers because you can’t really validate yourself when you’re so young and unsure.

College, meanwhile, is often a time in one’s life in which the focus becomes finding yourself as opposed to finding validation. You’re probably on your own for the first time, and no one is there to tell you what to do and who you are. For young women especially, it’s a time for self-exploration. You can control how you dress and what you eat; the lack of authority is freeing but can be dangerous for some of us, too. It’s tough finding balance on your own – but with newfound independence, confidence often follows. You get to decide what to do with your free time, what you learn about, and what you study. As young women, all of these newfound freedoms show us that there are so many more aspects to us than our outward appearance and how we are perceived.

toxic college beauty norms

That’s not to say there aren’t toxic standards and downsides, oh no. A big part of college culture is going out on weekends. Young women may find the ever-present need among their peers to “perform” for the male gaze. When and if they conform, they obtain validation and are approached by guys at parties and clubs. Young women may also try to fit in by doing the same sorts of things they did in high school. Or perhaps they want to seem smarter, more interesting, more alternative. The desire to stand out often follows women as they get older. And while this is common at universities and for girls everywhere, the beauty standard tends to be less narrow in college. In an environment with more people than there are in high school, the hive mindset takes a backseat and allows room for individuality. Different looks suddenly fit the otherwise prototypical beauty standard – anything goes. Ideally, the most attractive thing becomes looking good for yourself. Young women realize that beauty can be found in anyone and can appeal to anyone. A new college girl might discover that beauty truly is subjective. In our personal experiences, with one of us having gone to Baltimore for college and the other to New York City, we noticed that there isn’t really a “beauty standard!” Even if there is, it can be dismantled internally, as long as one works on their confidence. High school, we’ve thankfully learned, is not an accurate representation of society.

graduating in 2020 & its impact on our college experiences

Of course, our path to college wasn’t exactly traditional. We didn’t think we would live a true college experience after graduating at the beginning of a pandemic and starting college on Zoom. We experienced graduation from our cars or in our living rooms through a YouTube live stream. What should have been a celebration of one of our most significant milestones was gone. Starting a new chapter of our lives in such a drastically different time was shocking; we felt behind everyone else and isolated from our peers. Months were spent lacking social interaction and hoping for the quintessential college experience. Finally getting to live our newfound version of “typical” in the fall of 2021 was exhilarating but we all had to readjust to the new lifestyle. Discussing this transition and the new perspectives we formed about college after our inconclusive graduation experience with our friends was insightful. Now, we’re all approaching our junior years and reflecting on our transformations over the past three years. When we hopped on our Zoom call, some of us had never met each other. Still, we had such a wonderful conversation about how different our perceptions of our own beauty were in high school versus college.

college & independence = self expression

College & Independence = Self Expression

College allowed us to find our independence, discover new interests, and explore what we wanted to learn. Studying and participating in our passions and hobbies made us so much more comfortable and confident in ourselves and our skills, which manifested in the way we carried ourselves. High school didn’t allow the freedom to explore topics of interest as most grade schools boast rigid class schedules and course requirements. Check out the video for the full conversation.

dress for yourself

What’s also so different about college is, simply put, that no one cares! No one cares if you go to class in heels and no one cares if you’re in sweats on a Thursday. The ability to express ourselves through what we wear every day is liberating. In high school, we were younger and just wanted to fit into the mold of our community and the people around us. It might’ve felt like that at the beginning of our college careers, but there’s comfort in knowing that no one cares as time passes. Check out the video for the full conversation.

Dress For Yourself

College is all ups and downs. It has taught us so much about ourselves and the world around us. It may not be the experience that’s portrayed on TV, but it’s been so valuable in our journey to learning who we are. We’ve learned that the most important thing about college is to be our authentic selves. So, don’t let anyone or anything convince you that you’re not enough or that you’re too much. We know…it sounds super preachy. It’s also easier said than done, but accepting and loving yourself is a lifelong journey that every woman and girl deserves, not something they should feel guilty about.

Let us know about your experience in the comment bar below.

Much love, Laura and Saisha, The Fem Word x

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The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this article belong solely to the author, and do not necessarily reflect the position of The Fem Word organization. Any content provided by the author are based on their opinions and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.

laura hennawiJuly 28, 2022